My Crappy Life

My English is really bad and I write about my thing here because I want my life to be more in order. It’s boring as hell and maybe a little bit weird but I hope my journal can amuse you.

24th December, 2014 Wednesday 20:52 Cool

junojokington Leave a comment

I dreamt of a childhood friend last night. We live in the same village. We used to walk each other home in the last year of elementary school and he still stubbornly cling to me at that time despite my constant neglect, “bullying” and hot temper. That Cancer boy was really in love with me but I didn’t acknowledge his feelings. There are times I long for him now when I’m a bit older but I quickly dismiss those thoughts as soon as they were born. After all, we haven’t talked to each other for years since we went to different middle schools.

In my dream, I wandered deep into the village. I didn’t know which house was his so I called for him in the middle of the concrete pavement between rural houses. Just when I was about to leave with frustration, defeat and utter sadness, he was there ten feet in front of me. I sprinted towards him and gave him a deep passionate kiss on his right cheek. He smiled and said something cheesy that made my eyes water. He even wrote me a letter which gave me an intimidating feeling because I’m afraid of commitment and possession.

When I woke up, I dressed up and almost headed towards the deeper part of the village but I stopped myself from doing anything stupid because I realized it was all a meaningless dream and there is nothing between me and Cancer Boy, actually. I felt relieved and under the weather since I didn’t make stupid mistakes, such as finding him and giving him a proper kiss, and the whole romantic situation was only fake and imaginary images inside my stupid head.

It was so real. Its realness made me want to cry. The dream was pure torture as it gave me what I value most in life and then snatching it away from me and blasting me with brutal reality.

Jeanine and her mom’s here for dinner. They’re chatting with my parents downstairs. I invited Jeanine to join me and my Sims family but I think she has forgotten it.

Well, I think it’s only me, my Sims and my sentimental dreams.

24th December, 2014 Wednesday 18:25 Cool

junojokington Leave a comment

I haven’t written for days and it is quite difficult for me to summarize the events in the past few days in one single post.

The Christmas Party on Monday and the school’s Inter-class Christmas Singing Contest were fun. Most of my classmates and I weren’t truly in the festive or performing mood because we’re the Scientists. Oh, I love talking about the education system! We have to choose subjects to study the year before we enter high school and we have subjects that are branches of Science, Literature and Business. My school only lets capable students study 3 subjects and the rest only 2. My schoolmates who study 3 subjects (at least one of them a branch of Science) used to be wild and smart. I study in that class, too but this year my classmates are all introverted nerds who know almost nothing but studying. They’re not bad. They’re all good-natured people and they find happiness in less thrilling things. Most of them don’t enjoy performing and this explains why our performance sucked. We really didn’t care about the whole competition but we still had tons of fun.

I invited Chloe, Gabrielle and Elizabeth over to my place later that day. Chloe helped me install the Sims 3 game into my PC and we drowned 3 people in one hour. On the other hand, we failed to murder my first and ugliest Sim with fire and it frustrated us a lot.

Sims 3 is driving me crazy. I think I’m addicted to it because the first few things that come into my mind are:

  1. Sims 3
  2. Some gay moments from yesterday’s game
  3. Howe

I almost cried in the contest because Howe came back from England. I missed him so much and there he was, sitting to my left two roles ahead of me. He’s not in England anymore and he was actually within a stone’s throw. I wanted to hide in a corner and sob because he was so closed yet so far. No matter how many times I called his name, he couldn’t hear me over the thundering sounds of applause and cheering. I had to look at the ceiling and bite my lips to stop my tear from rolling down my cheek.

Us seniors had to go back to homeroom after the show and I managed to catch up with Howe as he was only a few feet from me. I was too hysterical and surprised and excited and overwhelmed for words. All I did was laugh like a maniac when we greeted each other and when he took out One Direction‘s official 2015 calendar from his back pack and handed it to me as a gift. He told me he found it on the floor but that’s the least thing I care. All I care is that the love of my life is now home for Christmas and that he didn’t forget about me and even got me a present. His presence and gift made my entire week!

We discussed when and where to have lunch in the afternoon on Tuesday. We are eating out in 30th December and nothing and nobody can stop us and stop this from happening! However, he has forgotten where the wonton shop in Flora Plaza is. I’m gonna work on that problem later.

I had been hanging out in Ollie’s place these two days and it was fruitfully amusing as hell. We had a Korean barbecue and all the burnt food went into the boys’ tummies. We then first played truth or dare and then the king’s game. During the first play, we asked each other intimate and sensitive personal questions and we had a laugh. We even dared Donny, who had been there for only a short period of time, to say “I love you” to Reyna and he really did it. He failed to fool her, though.

The king’s game had my friends and I in a fitful laugh. Troy and Tanner had to carry Caroline in their arms and their facial expressions were priceless. Tanner has been working out for nearly a year and he couldn’t even let her stay above the ground for more than a second. I had to touch my nose with Troy’s and eat a piece of celery with Mickey. Mickey ate it fast like a cute bunny and I almost spat my vegetable on his delicate face. I also had to wrap Tanner’s body with my limbs in one swift and tight hug and Mickey got the whole thing on tape. He owns an iPhone 6 and made the video in slow motion and to me, Tanner and I looked like a long-separated couple sprinting into each other’s embrace and hugging tightly in the airport. He had to perform a press-up on top of my body and he introduced a new way of doing it with his face facing the ceiling and his hip gently hovering over mine. Mickey took some photos and Tanner looked like a retard in them.

I went to Ollie’s place today again with Caroline and we attempted to make a gingerbread house, but to no avail. We had something close to a food fight targeted on the so-called gingerbread house and we watched 2014’s Teen Choice Award for about an hour before leaving at 5.

20th December, 2014 Saturday 20:49 My Hands Are Frozen

junojokington Leave a comment

Couldn’t write the past two days because I had to pack and tidy up my files. Friday was literally the last day of school and we had to get everything out of our dear lockers and receive tons of papers from our teachers. Christmas Break’s gonna be tough because we have to finish our homework and prepare for the horrible exams at the same time.

I got back my Biology and Maths quizzes on Friday. I passed the Biology test, oh my God. I repeat, I passed the Biology test. I didn’t get the highest marks but I considered it a successful breakthrough already. My Biology teacher, Mr. Chance, said the quiz was a little bit easier than the previous ones. I felt a bit distressed at that moment but still. This time’s result brings me joy and encouragement and I swear I will pour my heart out to Biology during Christmas Break.

I got 32 out of 34 for my Maths quiz on polynomials. I don’t know if I should feel happy or upset about it. Probably the former! I think I did great although I screwed up the last question. If I had figured out the last step to the last question, I would have scored a 100%.

I shared a video with Mickey last night and I talked about it with him and Kennedy at school. Mickey moaned out of the blue and I was hysterical because he sounded like a squirrel on drugs. Mickey then asked me to moan. He said it was my turn as he had already moaned 3 times. He was being hilariously ridiculous. Donny, Kennedy and I laughed our butts out.

Thank God I got to study with these idiots. They make me laugh.

Rehearsal had never seemed more fun before. I hope we can be ourselves and have fun on stage next Monday. Monday’s our big day.

Liberal Studies and Maths tutorial lessons today. Had fun.

Have been writing Christmas cards for days and I should get back to it.

P.s. Patrick Schwarzenegger’s hot. I once liked Miley Cyrus, but not that much anymore.

P.p.s. Chloe has made a Christmas card for me. I’ll get it on Monday. So excited!

18th December, 2014 Thursday 23:07 Cold

junojokington 2 Comments

I’m ready to hit the sack but I decide to write something before my mind goes blank.

I’ve been warming up to Donny and Kennedy lately and we had lots of fun today at school. Donny had a stomachache and my friends and I thought he wanted to poop. We made fun of him and it was hilarious. I couldn’t let out a loud laugh because homeroom was very quiet and my other friends were busy doing their work and I didn’t want to disturb them.

Anyway, had fun rehearsing the inter-class Christmas singing contest at school. Our dance moves were almost perfect and we’re all united as one.

Today’s picture day. We don’t take photos individually at local schools in Hong Kong. Two photos per class. The only things I know are that my hair was no different from a bird nest and that I grinned like a huge idiot in front of the camera. Well, at least I looked happy in the photos!

I got accepted to the Disney Workshop thingy and Gabrielle and Reyna were very happy for me. They were probably thrilled because of the fact that I’m going with them. I’m glad but I still think that this journey is not going to be perfect because not all my close friends are a part of it and it won’t be that fun without their presence. Sigh.

I came back home with a huge bag of books and files because we aren’t allowed to use our lockers during exams and we have to get everything out before Christmas Break. My home’s already a mess and getting home with more trash is not helping with the crappy situation at all.

Mom had been complaining about her colleague with another colleague the whole night. I was typing an analysis next to her and I was okay with that because she didn’t yell or scream. She just made sarcastic jokes and comments on that guy and I like how the way she relieves her stress.

By the way, I’ve succeeded in inviting Donny to join the hot pot dinner next Tuesday, the exact day after school’s Christmas party. Gabrielle and Chloe haven’t given me a reply whether they can go to my place after the party. I really hope I can hang out with them after that festive and merry day. Please say that you can come.

17th December, 2014 Wednesday 22:21 Cold, Cold, COLD

junojokington Leave a comment

I went back to school a bit later than usual for the briefing. I had to report to the leader Gabriel and it sucked because he is the last person I want to disappoint and I don’t know why but my brain seems to stop doing its job whenever I talk to him.

I don’t want him or anyone to see me as someone who is disappointing or a failure. Partly it’s because of my pride and because I just hate myself when I let down people I admire and respect.

I’m always really bad with controlling my feelings. Not that I’m attractive or striking but I tend to share my heart with an admirable number of people and I’m absolutely not proud of myself.

Why do I still think of other silly things when I’ve already decided to have my eyes only for Joe?

Anyway, despite the awkward and embarrassing confrontation, I had lots of fun with my friends, especially with my squad, Donny, Yahto and Kennedy.

Kennedy’s Donny’s close friend and I really mean it. They’re very close. Not gay but close, although I hope they were the former. Kennedy has a dream that he will become the big boss of a prospering brothel in the future. He’s probably kidding but this always gives me bellyaches from laughing too hard. I enjoy talking inappropriate matters with the duo as they’ll simply laugh with me. Kennedy will even elaborate the things we discuss with more detailed and vivid ideas and his everything just makes Donny and I laugh.

When Donny confronted Kennedy today at school, they meant to have a manly fight but instead they intertwined their fingers and just had a stare down competition. I whispered in Kennedy’s ear and told him to give Donny a warm and welcoming hug and he actually hugged him. Donny was a bit taken aback and Kennedy was grinning like a naive kid the whole time wrapping his arms around Donny’s torso.

I chased Yahto on the way to the bus stop because he challenged me and he was temptingly provoking. I obviously looked like a wild hag but I didn’t care. I didn’t take my friend’s comments about how silly I was chasing a boy seriously, either. The chase was fun and I seriously don’t care if I’ve violated the stereotypical rules of gender beliefs.

What’s wrong with being an extroverted girl, anyway?

Another reason that I prefer being around Donny and Kennedy to Yahto is because Yahto can’t quite appreciate my sense of humour. I have nothing but a sexy imagination, which I share with Donny and Kennedy. Yahto must think that we’re all crazy so he doesn’t give us the typical reaction when we invite him into our intimate little circle.

I kinda feel bad for not going to tutor the underprivileged kids simply because my friends weren’t going. That’s why I despise myself. I don’t have my own stance and I always go with the flow. I often hear snickers behind my back and it sucks. I wish I have a strong mind and I wish I have to ability to hold my ground and onto my belief.

I apologize to the kids and the staff in the scheme for not attending the course and my selfishness and incompetence are to blame.

Today had been quite a good day, despite all the small and insignificant matters.

Have I told you that Mr. Zachariah took part in the teacher-student soccer game at school during lunch? He was awesome. He and Mr. Shinyforehead took over the court as if it was their dance floor. Our school’s Economics teacher, Mr. Chance was very funny as a clumsy goalkeeper during the whole match. I didn’t stay long to watch it as I had to patrol around and the prefect leaders saw me taking a break from work. Damn.

I guess I’ll leave History for tomorrow.